


Of robbers and treasure and ninjas

by SectorDweller



Category: Naruto
Genre: (wouldn't mind the treasure though), (you can keep the pirates), Gen, My muse doesn't know how to create tags, and then they themselves got stolen, and they should probably have something to do with pirates and treasure, and try not to give them to Underwater Treasures Lost and Found, but I love reading tags, cuz tags are awesome, except they already stole the treasure, since there's no telling where they'd end up., so my tags must've gotten stolen along with them, so please return the tags if you see them, so this fic has to have tags too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:54:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29768922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SectorDweller/pseuds/SectorDweller
Summary: Pirates in the land of Water make mistakes too. Itachi and Kisame prove just that.ORHow to make supplementary income as a shinobi.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Of robbers and treasure and ninjas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Foodmoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foodmoon/gifts).
  * Inspired by [When Your Alpha is Raised by Wolves and an Idiot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20054773) by [Foodmoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foodmoon/pseuds/Foodmoon). 



> Foodmoon and I were talking about her chapter in the making. Then this happened ;P

"You lost the golden dragon!?" says the blond pirate. "How are we supposed to make a living if you keep losing our plunder!?"

"It's not my fault that things are easy to lose in this mist." says the skinny pirate with the bandana.

"It's supposed to work the other way around!" snaps the blond pirate, "The mist is supposed to help _us_ make _other_ people's things disappear."

"And what makes you think I'm immune to it?" asks the skinny pirate.

"Do you see anyone trying to steal from us?" asks the blond pirate.

"Point taken." says the skinny pirate.

"Heh." snarks the blonde pirate.

"And I better not. It's _your_ job to look out for anyone lurking around, isn't it?" states the skinny pirate.

"Exactly! Which makes your job even easier! You're the one who's supposed to look after our treasure and nothing else!" says the blond pirate.

"I don't see how it gets _you_ off the hook for losing things, too." says the skinny pirate.

"Tsch! Um. It's none of my business if the mist decides to make us pay for our patronage." says the blond pirate.

"Is that so? So now, you're the goody-two-shoes who gives back to the land." says the skinny pirate.

"While I'm distracted, there's nothing to stop the mist from rummaging through my stuff and making it disappear." says the blond pirate.

"It's still your fault for being clumsy." says the skinny pirate.

"Well, it's _your_ fault because you're supposed to look after it!" says the blond pirate.

"Is this what you're looking for?"

The blond pirate directs his attention at the gold, sparkly, valuable artifact that's shining through the fog. Also, not that it matters too much, but there's some guy holding it up and asking a dumb question. If it's shiny and valuable and it's made of gold, of course they're looking for it.

"How did you find it?" the skinny pirate asks. He'll clearly have to explain things to his partner once again. It's the skinny pirate's job to keep his eyes on the treasure. Keeping an eye out for people is _his own_ job.

"The sharingan helped." says the silhouette. "Kisame got the water out of the way, though it was pretty shallow back there." Oh, right. This guy is standing in front of them with treasure in hand. This probably counted as his part of the job.

"Gather 'round, boys! We got ourselves a fresh sucker to rob!" yells the blond pirate.

That's when a heavy, oversized, bandaged object lands on his shoulder and proceeds to rest there. The one who puts it there must be behind him because he never saw it coming. He doesn't know what the thing actually is, but the scales that pierce through those bandages are pretty sharp.

The blonde pirate looks at the skinny pirate. "Aren't you going to do something!?"

"I-I'm already doing my part of the job! Look at the treasure, remember!?" the skinny pirate says, hands up and quivering.

"I take it back, I take it back! I'll forgive you this time but you don't wanna mess with me! I'm a genin!!" the blond pirate shrieks and flails with his unburdened arm.

The silhouette with the treasure hunches forward, as if to peer at them closer. "You must be the pirates from the wanted notice. There's not much we can do with only two of you, though."

"I don't think we have to worry about that." says whoever put the thing on his shoulder. Hmph! So careless. No wonder town dweebs are so easy to rob. They should have guessed that there's more of them in the mist.

"You know, this isn't a bad way to make some money." the silhouette with the treasure says, "With my sharingan and your water technique, we could retrieve these items without having to hassle with bounties."

The blond pirate's mates have probably assembled by now. That ~~shriek~~ call to arms of his definitely got through to them. "I've got you now!" he yells, "We were stalling! You're surrounded by _all_ of us! Surrender if you know what's good for you!"

"I think your pals are too busy being stuck in a water jutsu to do anything right now." The blond pirate looks over his shoulder, only to see a silhouette with an unsettlingly sharp grin. "Itachi, I think I have a better idea."

The blond pirate gulps.

~

"Underwater Treasures Lost and Found?" Jiraiya asks.

"Technically, it makes sense as a name." Kisame scratches the scales on the back of his head. "Most of the things ended up under water when the pirates lost them, now they're looking for them once again. When they manage to find them, people take them back."

"Why do I sense that there was some creative tinkering with that sentence?" Jiraiya asks.

"Because there was. Don't look at me, that's how the daimyo put it together. Conveniently skipped saying that the treasures are recovered for a _fee_." Kisame says.

Jiraiya processes this for a second, then proceeds to inquire with some surprisingly excited curiosity, "How is this working out for you guys?"

"Oh, it's actually going pretty well. Itachi and I do our part from time to time, but the pirates mostly know where to look. It's actually a good solution for this region since the pirates are too busy looking for things to bully anyone else. Kiri sends them to us for community service when they capture them, too." Kisame rests when he just about reaches the end of that statement, though after Jiraiya gives him the same _'you can't fool me, I write for a living'_ look, he's prompted to continue the thought. "Oh and we gave the daimyo some things that his treasure fleet 'lost'."

"And how do you determine if someone actually owns the thing they ask for?" Jiraiya asks.

"Err..." Kisame knows that the issue with that is blatantly apparent, though that doesn't mean that someone had to ask about it.

"A plot hole this big? Really? So, if somebody asks you about an artifact that could take you to a legendary being, a being so powerful that it could change the ways of the ninja forever, so old that its powers have been lost to time, you'd just sell it for a finder's fee?" Jiraiya asks.

Kisame grimaces, "Nobody said it was gonna be perfe-"

"Did you happen to see a golden dragon statue?" Jiraiya asks.

Kisame blinks.


End file.
